Recently, the sports world was rocked by the sudden death of one of the all-time great NBA players. He and his daughter were on the way to her club basketball game, when their vehicle crashed, killing everyone aboard.
This, however, is not about that player or his daughter. In fact, we won’t even mention names here. If you want to learn more, Google it. Besides, who was involved is not the point here.
This is about how lives can change in the blink of an eye, when you least expect it.
And it is about how, in this fast-paced, over-programmed, hyper-competitive world of travel team sports, we often lose sight of what’s important.
It’s an unfortunate truth of today’s reality that it takes a shocking event such as this to provide that perspective.
Families Forever Changed
This accident was tragic, primarily because the victims were families – not just individuals.
Even if you aren’t a basketball fan, it put into sharp focus how sometimes the lives of ordinary parents and their kids are forever changed by simply going to a game.
Three families left their houses with their kids that morning heading to a girls’ club basketball game. Also with them were two other individuals, one of whom was a coach of the team.
They never made it to their game. In all, five families had their lives forever altered in a matter of moments.
You realize that it could happen to any family that has to take their child to a travel team event. This is particularly true for those sports that have heavy travel requirements.
Why It’s Called “Travel” Team Sports
Nearly anyone with a child in youth sports these days and, based on the data, that’s a lot of us, has been there.
The 5am wake-up calls to drive hours to a tournament. The back-and-forth trips to meets. The late-night, bleary-eyed drives home after a full day of watching, playing and cheering.
A recent research study by Wintergreen Research estimates the US youth sports market at $19.6B annually – that’s 70% more than was spent to go to the movies in 2019. That’s a lot of families hitting the road for kid’s sports.
Baseball, volleyball, basketball, gymnastics, hockey, diving, swimming, lacrosse… you name it and there is a probably an event at least an hour away each weekend.
We recently had one weekend where my wife and I separately had to crisscross southern California for my daughter’s volleyball and my son’s basketball tournaments. And we have nowhere near the travel schedule of friends who have kids in travel baseball.
Travel, or club, baseball seems to have tournaments every weekend. And they always seem to be a minimum of an hour and a half drive each way.
It’s become a fact of life in kids sports today. If your child wants to compete and get coaching at higher skill levels, it means joining travel teams or elite/competitive clubs for individual sports like gymnastics, diving or swimming.
Whatever you sport of choice, there’s no getting around it. Youth sports requires a lot of time on the road.
Often, travelling to various events is more about just getting there and back as soon as possible and less about enjoying the time together.
The question in my mind now has become: what do I do with that time?
Focus on What Really Matters
In today’s next-up, what’s-the-latest, 24-hour-news-cycle world, all too often when a tragic news story breaks, there is a moment of shock and we move on to the next headline.
This one hit home because it could have happened to my family. Or my neighbors or friends’ families.
I am determined to not let this pass without some takeaways that I want to focus on in the future with my kids:
- Complaining about hours spent in traffic won’t make it go away. Be thankful you get to spend that time together.
- Arriving late to the game or back at home that night is not the end of the world. Be grateful that you make it safely there and back.
- How much, and how well, your child plays ultimately does not matter. Enjoy the fact that he or she is healthy and able to play at all.
- Don’t get upset about mistakes your child makes during their game. Be happy that tomorrow will be another opportunity for them to play.
- Don’t become bogged down in winning or losing one game or tournament. Focus on the bigger picture of creating lasting memories, good and bad, that will bond your family forever.
As much as we tend to hate the tiresome driving and constant on-the-go-ness with kids’ sports, it’s also a chance to spend some quality time with them.
If you’re driving a couple hours to a game and back, that’s a couple hours to bond with your child.
Don’t let that slip by. I know I won’t anymore.